Special Forces: Operation Alpha: Saving Liberty (Kindle Worlds Novella) Page 9

  “I can hear you thinking over there, Tru. Stop blaming yourself. This is not your fault. If anybody is responsible, it’s me. I’m the one that didn’t realize she was sick,” he noted grimly. “How the fuck had I not noticed her pulling her ear. I’ve been with her twenty-four-seven!”

  “Maybe that’s why. You haven’t had any help. I was supposed to be there with you and I wasn’t. I shoved my responsibilities on you while I had a pity party for myself.” I grimaced as I turned my gaze to him. “I’m so sorry for that, Pax.”

  “Stop,” he ordered softly, his hand contracting around my leg. “You needed some time to process everything that’s happened. I get that and so does she. I just wish you’d told me where you were going. I’ve been going crazy not knowing where you were… if you were safe,” he shared hoarsely. “Please, don’t do that shit to me again. If you need a breather, fine. Just tell me where you’re going first, okay?”

  “I’ve got my head on straight now, Pax. I won’t need another breather. I’ve finally realized what’s important here. And it’s all sitting in this truck with me,” I replied glancing over my shoulder at Liberty again.

  “I know you’re scared, but our girl is strong. Liberty’s going to be okay. We’re gonna take her to see the doctor and get her fixed up. You’ll see. A little medicine and I’m sure she’ll be on the mend. We’ll get our baby taken care of and then, you and I are going to go back to the house and have a long, honest talk with each other, okay?” he questioned gently, briefly turning his attention from the road to me.

  “Okay,” I consented softly, covering the tanned hand he had resting on my knee with one of my own.

  “Okay,” he echoed, smiling slightly as he turned onto the road that would take us on base. “But for the record, Bambi, I’m thrilled as fuck you came back to us. Having you here with us now… even with Liberty being sick, I finally feel a semblance of calm again. Like peace and order has been restored to my world, babe. Thank you for that.”

  My lips trembled as I fought happy tears as his fingers turned to lace around mine. “I’m happy I’m back, too, Pax. Really, really happy.

  Chapter Seven

  Pax

  Six hours later, Truly and I were tired but relieved as we brought Liberty home from the hospital. Lucky for us, the baby’s diagnosis had been straightforward and exactly what Truly had predicted before we left the house.

  Our little girl had her very first ear infection.

  But thanks to the miracle of modern medicine, Liberty was already on the mend and sleeping comfortably in her new mother’s arms. The doc had given her an antibiotic shot and a dose of fever reducer while we were in the ER and the meds had taken effect, allowing our cranky girl to get some much needed rest. The physician on call had discharged us with a bottle of baby ibuprofen and a prescription for Augmentin. We’d been beyond grateful when the hospital pharmacy had taken mercy on us and agreed to fill the prescription for us in spite of the fact that it was technically after hours. Apparently, medical professions would cut first-time parents a lot of breaks when making that first scary ER run.

  At any rate, we were finally home. Or, at least, Liberty and I were home. I could only pray that Truly would consider herself to be finally at home, too. If the way she was protectively holding Liberty cradled against her chest while she stared at her with a kind of loving devotion that melted my heart was any indication, she was never leaving.

  Flipping on the lamp in the living room, I turned and smiled as she followed me into the room. Her eyes, however, were still firmly glued to Liberty’s slack little face. Walking back to them, I touched Truly’s waist as I peered down to look at the baby in her arms. “She finally looks like she’s comfortable,” I murmured, lifting a hand to stroke the fine red hair topping Liberty’s head.

  “I can tell just by holding her that her fever’s dropped a lot,” Truly whispered back, her eyes soft as they gazed lovingly at the sleeping infant. “She’s so beautiful, Pax. I can’t get over how beautiful she is. Her real mother must have been gorgeous.”

  “I don’t know about that. There’s no way she can top the beauty of the mother holding her now,” I disagreed. “But our girl is gonna be a looker. That’s for sure,” I murmured, shifting my attention back to the baby girl I’d claimed as my own.

  “I see Yancy in her, too. Not a lot, but he’s there,” Tru murmured softly, smiling as Liberty huffed out a long breath.

  “I guess so. Stands to reason. He’s her father, after all.” Staring down at her little body, my eyes catalogued her features. Sighing, I nodded as I shrugged. “I reckon it’s natural that she might share a few of his features. Other than her hair and eyes, though, I don’t really see much of him in her now.”

  Lifting her eyes from the baby to meet mine, Truly smiled as I walked into the kitchen to put Liberty’s antibiotic fluid in the refrigerator. “He might have given her some DNA, but you’ll always be the daddy she knows and treasures,” I heard her call out, her dulcet voice almost melodic in the still house.

  “Damn straight about that,” I rumbled, returning to the living room and grinning at Truly. “And that works both ways, Bambi. You’ll be the only mother she ever remembers. That is, if that’s what you want.”

  Exhaling heavily, Truly lifted her gaze back to mine, her hazel eyes glinting in the shadowy, silent room. “Tonight, I was scared spitless, Pax,” she whispered as though she was confiding the gravest of secrets. “I was terrified that something really bad was wrong with this baby. She’s so new. And innocent. The deck was stacked against her before she was even born. And seeing her sick for the first time just brought everything home for me! If I was confused before, tonight’s trip to the hospital cleared things right up for me. I was so stupid… trying to guard myself against the pain loving this baby might bring. If this had been more serious than an ear infection, I might have lost her! And the rest of my life I would have cursed myself for wasting these last few days hiding from her. From you.”

  “Truly, you had a natural reaction, baby. You’re being too hard on yourself,” I replied as gently as I could. I wanted to pull her against me and hold her in my arms, but since she was clinging to the baby, I had to settle for sliding a supportive arm around her. “Everything you’ve been through this last year and a half…it makes sense that you’d need a beat to get your bearings.”

  “I don’t need any more time, though, Pax. That’s what I’m trying, very ineptly, I guess, to tell you. I’ve wasted enough time on my fears and doubts. Yancy… scarred me. I spent years of my life questioning myself, wondering why I wasn’t enough to satisfy him. Between my lousy parents and my cheating husband, I’ve always questioned my self-worth. I mean, when everyone you’ve ever let yourself love treats you like shit, you start to assume that maybe misery is all you deserve, you know? I’ve felt inadequate for so long that doubting myself became my normal. And after I lost the last baby, I retreated even further into myself. I just couldn’t handle any more pain. Then, Yancy died and I had to deal with my guilt. See, the day he passed away, I found out about another of his affairs and I’d just spent an entire morning cursing him, wishing him dead while I planned to leave him for good. I’d only just started to forgive myself for that when you informed me about Liberty. I know my initial reaction to her was bad. But it wasn’t about her, Pax. I swear it wasn’t. It was about what Yancy’d done to me a-freaking-gain. It was about the fact that – yet again- some other woman had given him something I couldn’t seem to provide. It was about the fact that I was still feeling the loss of my own baby.”

  “Bambi, I understand that. Hell, it’s natural, I think,” I tried to console her.

  “Thank you,” she whispered, shooting me a tight smile that looked more like a grimace. Breathing deeply, she swallowed hard as she looked down at a slumbering Liberty. “I don’t want you to think I’m still hung up on him. Yancy, I mean. I’m sorry he died, but we were over, Pax. Looking back, I can see now that we’d been over for a long t
ime. My love for him… it burned out a long time before he took his last breath. I know it was wrong, but I think I stayed out of habit more than anything else. That and my fear of being alone. But the one thing I’ve learned since he’s been gone is that I can survive on my own. When I think about it, I’ve been alone a lot longer than the time he’s been dead,” Truly shared as she looked up at me.

  “So I know I can be on my own. But I don’t want to. Not anymore,” she confided huskily as her gaze dropped back to the little angel in her arms. “Because I’ve realized that I’ve gotta start trying to live again instead of just existing. I’ve spent the last several days really thinking about what I want from life and I know now. I want this baby. So much. I want to be her mother. I want to tell the bedtime stories and kiss away the boo boos. I want to watch her grow and learn and change. I want to witness all her firsts. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how Melissa could so easily entrust me with this little miracle, but after tonight, I’m grateful she did. I know I handled things badly when you told me, and I’m sorry for that. I acted like a complete bitch, but I swear, Pax, any uncertainty I might have had about being her mom is gone. I’m in. All in.”

  “I think Melissa did her research and arrived at the same conclusion I did. You’re a wonderful woman with a beautiful and loving heart,” I returned softly. “She knew her kid would be brought up by a woman that loves with her whole heart and would give her daughter the childhood she deserves,” I offered, lifting a hand to thumb away a tear that had escaped Truly’s eye while I hoped like hell that she’d want me just as badly as she wanted Liberty. Because after hearing everything she had to say, I wanted her more than I ever had before. In my bed. In my heart. In my life. Every moment of every day until they poured dirt over my grave. Truly was my goddamn dream woman and I knew if I looked for a million years I’d never find another woman who’d ever compare. “Please don’t cry,” I begged gruffly, cupping her jaw as I leaned my forehead against hers. “It kills me when you cry, Bambi.”

  Sniffling, Truly offered me a watery smile. “Sorry. They’re happy tears. Honest, they are.”

  Pressing my lips to her forehead, I shook my head. “Don’t care. You’ve had to cry enough. I want smiles and laughter. No more tears, okay?”

  “I’ll try,” she returned shakily as she sucked her lower lip between her teeth to bite it nervously. Watching that, I fought the urge to cover that rosy mouth with my own and pull that full pink lip between my own teeth and take a nibble. She had no idea how effortlessly sexy she was, and I yearned to show her.

  “Why don’t we lay her down in the nursery?” I suggested, keeping my voice low as I pressed another kiss to Truly’s forehead. “She’d probably be more comfortable if she can stretch out in her bassinet. Plus, it’ll give you and me a chance to talk openly about us.”

  Nodding, Truly drew back slightly but stayed close. I could tell by the darkening of her eyes that she was a little uneasy, but I had every intention of eradicating any lingering fears she had about us becoming a real family.

  “Can I put her down for the night?” she asked hopefully, her arms unconsciously pulling the baby closer.

  “Of course you can, Bambi. This kid is as much yours as she is mine. You don’t need to ask permission from me to do anything with her,” I agreed instantly, eager to put her at ease. Guiding her toward the hallway that led to the rest of the house with my hand resting lightly on her back, I rushed to fill the silence. “I hope you like the room I chose for the nursery. The house has four bedrooms and I put her in the one closest to the master. It’s the bedroom with the biggest closet besides the master bedroom. I figured she might appreciate that more when she’s a teenager,” I informed her softly, stepping slightly ahead of her to lead the way down the darkened hallway. “I didn’t do a whole lot to the room yet besides painting it. I wanted to wait and hopefully get your input. I just got her the basic furniture so far. You know, her bassinet, her crib, the changing table, dresser and diaper genie. I don’t think I’d wanna contemplate life without that diaper genie. Our girl can deliver some pretty stinky diapers when she chooses,” I rambled, pausing outside the room I’d given Liberty. “If you don’t like anything, you just tell me and we’ll change it,” I promised, pausing outside the nursery door before opening it and reaching inside to flip the light switch. Gesturing Tru inside, I smiled. “After you,” I invited, holding my breath as she stepped past me over the threshold.

  “Oh, my word,” I heard her breathe as she paused just inside the door and looked around, taking in the mint green walls and polished oak baby furniture. “Pax, it’s like something out of one of those designer baby catalogs. “This is amazing! I’ve never even seen a circular crib outside of a magazine,” she stated gleefully as her eyes landed on Liberty’s bed.

  “I haven’t put her in it yet since it seems like it would be a little too big just yet for her tiny body. I didn’t want her to get lost in there,” I confessed self-consciously. “I’ve been using the bassinet in the corner.” I pointed to the white wicker bassinet I’d purchased. “She seems to like it okay,” I continued as Tru carried the baby toward it.

  “It’s lovely, Pax,” Truly replied and I was relieved to see that her face looked much more relax. “The whole room is just amazing. Those cream curtains really look good against the light green of the walls. If you ask me, the room is a little girl’s dream,” she went on earnestly as she bent to place the baby inside the bassinet.

  I couldn’t deny I was thrilled with her warm praise. It meant a lot to me that she liked what I’d done. Watching as her slender fingers, adjusted the baby’s swaddling, I smiled as she bent again to drop a kiss to Liberty’s head. “Sweet dreams, sweet girl,” she whispered.

  I crossed the room to Liberty’s bed to press my own goodnight kiss to Liberty’s head as Tru slipped out of the room before following her into the hallway a few seconds later. Closing the door behind me, I met her eyes and smiled. “Poor little thing is down for the count.”

  “Shouldn’t we leave that open a little bit so we can hear her if she cries?” she worried aloud, nervously shoving her fingers in the back pocket of her jeans.

  Holding up the baby monitor I’d grabbed on the way out the door, I shook my head. “We’re all set. She’ll sleep for about four hours solid before she wakes up for her middle-of-the-night bottle and diaper change.”

  Nodding, Tru shifted on her feet apprehensively. “Okay, that’s good,” she murmured. “She’ll be sleeping through the night in no time.”

  Nodding, I took her hand in mine and pulled her back toward the living room. “I don’t know about you, but I could use a beer. Then, I wanna show you around the house. Have you seen it before?”

  “Only from the outside,” Truly answered, following me down the hall as her small hand clung to mine. “But I met the couple that lived here when they had a yard sale a couple of years ago. They were really nice. And they took a lot of pride in their yard. Every year they had the prettiest landscaping. What was it that you told me about the original owners leaving?”

  “The guy got a job promotion that took him to Nebraska. I could tell selling the house was hard on them though. Like you said, they loved this place,” I offered as we arrived at the kitchen. I only dropped her hand long enough to pull two Bud Light’s out of the refrigerator. After I passed her one, I quickly captured her hand again before taking her on a tour of the home I was determined she share with me.

  I spent the next several minutes showing her from room to room, watching her eyes light up as I answered her questions and told her my plans for the future and listened to her make suggestions of her own. I loved when she talked about the house as if she’d already decided to live here with us. We agreed that the rooms in the finished basement would be perfect for a playroom for Liberty and a library/office for us and decided that eventually it would be smart to add an extra bathroom downstairs. We established that the back yard definitely needed to be fenced in for Liberty’
s safety. When she mentioned how nice it would be to screen in the back deck and how much she looked forward to seeing a garden growing in the back yard, I knew I had her sold on the place, but I desperately needed to hear her say it aloud.

  Carefully tugging her petite body into my arms when we returned to the living room at the end of our explorations, I told my hardening dick to behave as I tightened my arms around her waist and stared down at her pretty upturned face. As much as I wanted to savor how good it felt to have her curvy body molded to mine, I had other things to settle before I made any moves on her. My aching cock would have to wait a while longer. “So, you really do like the house, huh?”

  “I’ve always liked this house,” Truly replied with an eager nod. “Every time I drove past here and saw this gorgeous sprawling house sitting on its picture perfect lawn, I envied the owners. But after seeing the interior, I can officially tell you I love it. It’s so much bigger inside than I thought it was. It has plenty of bedrooms and living space. The kitchen has been remodeled. The landscaping is immaculate. And that walk-in closet and Jacuzzi tub in the master are a woman’s dream come true, Pax. Seriously, a girl would have to be an idiot not to adore this place. I was sold on this place before I ever stepped inside it.”

  Pleased, I couldn’t help my wide smile. Or what I said next. “Does that mean I won’t have to handcuff your naked body to my bed to convince you to live here with me and Liberty?”

  “You still want me to move in?” she asked me, her sweet voice hushed.